Heavy Metal (A Badboy Rockstar Romance) by Wildwood Octavia

Author:Wildwood, Octavia [Wildwood, Octavia]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2016-03-16T07:00:00+00:00

Chapter 17

As time went on, I fell into a comfortable routine – or was it a rut?

My days were spent working at the diner or walking the streets in search of my cat. My nights were spent binge eating in an attempt to push all the old feelings that had resurfaced back down inside me. In some ways, it felt like nothing had changed.

Brandon was far, far away and our respective schedules made it difficult to find time to talk. Sometimes I wondered if all that had been a dream. What if Brandon wasn’t even real and I had imagined the whole thing? What if I had been stuck living my mundane, sad little life the entire time and the sexy musician was only a figment of my imagination?

Of course Brandon was real, but oh God, I was so lonely. I missed him so much it hurt. Phone calls weren’t enough. They weren’t nearly enough. I longed for his touch.

I tried my best to eat my feelings.

I ate like a champ, stuffing myself like I had never stuffed myself before. It made me feel sick and sluggish, but I didn’t care. The beast within me had been unleashed, and it was insatiable. So I filled up the void inside me with pasta, pastries and anything else I could get my hands on.

Everyone at the diner kept staring at me. In fact, Cesar was pretty much the only person who treated me normally. I felt like I got a reaction of either pity or disdain from basically everyone who knew me, and I didn’t understand why.

At least Carl had been tolerable. He had never been one for working at the diner. In fact, he had never been one for working in general. He preferred to hire people to do that for him so he could tend to more important matters, like watching porn and getting drunk before noon. But when he did show up, he wasn’t a jerk to me. In fact, he mostly ignored me. It suited me just fine.

In the beginning, I didn’t even really notice I was gaining weight. I reasoned that if I was, Carl would certainly call it to my attention in the most humiliating and degrading manner possible. Since he hadn’t uttered a word about it, I assumed all was well and any notions of me being fat were in my head.

Then my clothes stopped fitting.

I bought new ones with some of the money I had saved from tips.

I kept eating.

It was one of the few joys I had while I waited for my life to get exciting again.

It wasn’t even excitement that I craved, not really. It was a sense of normalcy, a sense of hope. It was Brandon. When I was with him, I felt alive inside, like I was seeing the whole world for the very first time. It didn’t matter what we were doing – even just hanging out watching bad movies felt every bit as thrilling as riding that roller coaster with him had been.

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